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Monday, March 21, 2005 | 9:49 PM

I dont know when it started... but i think i know how it started... since secondary school when i was having my teenage life and was hoping for lovE... the fear just grew and grew without me noticing it... fear of? well... relationship... *sigH*

Why would i be afraid of relationships? I dont know. i have not been in boy girl relationship (BGR) before. Has been single for my teenage life. hahA~ anyway.. i just have this fear, when love come to me, i will hide and avoid.

I think i have seen enough of my friends' BGR problems.. They seemed to be in love madly and full of happiness. But, before i could even blink my eyes, they seemed to be out of love and crying badly. Why is it so hurtful? Why is it so cruel? Why does it come and go just like that?! why Why WHY?!

People have told me that that type of BGR is not love, then what exactly is lovE?! and what is a BGR with lovE?! I thought relationship of love brings happiness?! Yes, i saw my friends's happiness from their smile. They told me how well their bf treated them. I feel happy for them. But why the next moment, ask me not to mention their bf's name and told me that he is a bastard?! I just dont understand!!!

A lesson learnt from them? Love hurts. Why? Dont ask me, ask my eyes 'cause they saw the truth from my friends' failure relationships. I dont know.. I'm just afraid to face relationship when fate is on me and a guy. Any guy. The images of how my friends cried, and faced, will appear in my mind continuously... giving me no courage and confidence.. I've lost the trust in BGR even before i can step into it.. I need to gain it back.. But.. who will be my hero and save me out of this... i dont want to get hurt.. i feel so hopeless...

~protecting my fragile heart from breaking into pieces..~







Kamenashi Kei

♥ Ying ♥
 -Turning 23 in less than 2 months time
-Has been a devoted fan of JJ, Kame, Aiba, Pokya.. and maybe L
-Is someone who daydreams a lot
-Can crap more than study
-Loves to slp, eat, talk, watch dvds, nag

♥ 大好きなSongs ♥
 JJ
-冻结 美人鱼 距离 无尽的思念 原来 不死之身 Now That She's Gone 杀手 K-O 不流泪的机场 小酒窝

KATTUN (Kame)
Precious One. Harukana Yakusoku. Peaceful Days. Kizuna. Real Face. Signal. Yorokobi no Uta. Your Side. LIPS. DON'T U EVER STOP. Blue Tuesday. Rhodesia. Wilds of My Heart. Butterfly. Peak. LOST. someday for somebody. FIGHT ALL NIGHT. Distance. Our Story ~Prologue~. 12 o'clock.

Arashi (Aiba)
A.RA.SHI*Kimi wo Sukoshi mo Warukunai*Nice na Kokoroiki*夏の名前*Sakura Sake*Rain*Itsuka No Summer*Hitmitsu*Carnival Night part2* Wish*Kitto Daijoubu*COOL & SOUL*Love so sweet*Happiness*Step and Go*Your Song*Hello Goodbye *Boku ga boku no subete*Truth*One Love*5x10

SS501
UR Man, Because i'm stupid, Find, I am, Sometime, Deja Vu, Song calling for you

Others
末日之恋，傻瓜，频率，翻不完的夏天，恋爱ING，眼色，放肆，周蕙的全部歌，cant think of any more now..

♥ 大好きなDrama/Anime ♥
 -Drama->It started with a kiss(jpn & taiwan), Nodame cantabile, Gokusen2, Yamadataro Monogatari, Attention Please,The Quiz Show, Mr Brain, 花样少年少女，终极一班 ...
-Anime->Nodame Cantabile, Azumanga Dayo, Fruit basket, Ouran High Boy Host Club, Minami Ke, Lucky Star, La Corda d'Oro,..
-cant think of anymore now..



♥ Gossips/ Complaints ♥


♥ Bye Bye! ♥

Secondary
Old Jolleen
New Jolleen
WanYing
Joanne
HuiShi
CheeYong
Eugenia
Valerie Lee

JC
Melvin
Jess
Kenn
Boompiah
Thong Thong

Cousin
Gilbert

Uni
Afiza
Effonda

I dont know what heading to name her under..haha
Yijun
My part 2
Part 2


♥ Eyes with Delight ♥

ueno edited
I love it too much to remove it. Since this is my blog, u have to bear seeing it everytime u visit.\(^0^)/

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It has been long since i last updated myself on JJ's news. I wonder how is he.. Haha.. Got these from his blog~

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My Kame's hair is back to normal!! He's a boy who loves baseball to core. He is so pretty that i must share it! ~<3

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Latest Image of Aiba in 5X10 collection. He's such a cute boy who loves to run and jump~

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Mr. Pokya. My main source of joy. Haha.. Ojisama in disguisE~

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Xiao Gen Ban. He is my ideal husband in the drama of Infamous Chil Princesses~

♥ Reminiscent ♥